#bc you can get prescribed the wrong meds

[thecatspasta]

Ok but if you think about it anti self diagnosis stuff is so stupid sometimes

'Hey I have self dxed autism'

'You do not have autism bc a medical professional has not approved this and therefore you are not autistic'

Imagine if you applied that to smth like cancer and then that person later died of cancer. Hey if its not diagnosed then its not real and cant affect you so everyone who died of smth that they didnt get diagnosed obviously did not have that

You can see how thats stupid right?

[bluemoontarot]

Lil reminder that self diagnosing can be a good way to help doctors focus on the symptoms that make your life difficult!

Reminder that a good percent of mental illnesses have symptoms that overlap! Did you know PTSD and ADHD have almost identical symptoms when it comes to being over or under stimulated??? Me neither! I thought I had ADHD for years but it turns out I just have complex trauma!!

Anxiety and autism also are two that have a lot of overlapping symptoms!

MPD or now known as DID is actually EXTREMELY rare and HAS to be developed either genetically or through a VERY INTENSE trauma at a young age. This often gets mistaken with Bipolar, please do research bc the treatment for these are VERY different and the meds do WILDLY different things.

This has been a PSA from a 25 yr old who grew up around psychologists and lots of therapy and has read too many books.

[floral-hex]

Short story, then longer vent after the cut:

Psych keeps scheduling me for telehealth. Psych changed my meds with little consultation. Psych did this on a Friday and didn’t respond to email or calls (while their office was still open for the day), so I spent the weekend grumpy and stressed about meds. Today I set up an appointment with a different psych (for tomorrow, even! Wow, what god did I please to pull off an appointment that soon?).

Still grumpy. Still stressed.

Anyway, had ANOTHER telehealth appointment with my psych on Friday. I hate telehealth. He kept saying we’d eventually do an in person, but then the session would end and I’d get an email confirmation saying the next one was telehealth. Dumb. My counselor/therapist works in the same office and told me the psych basically just works telehealth from home and sits on his laptop scrolling Fox News. Not a very personable guy, made me feel like I was in the principal’s office in our first meeting, but I’m a pushover and just went along with it.

ANYWAY (another anyway), telehealth appointment, only it’s actually just a phone call bc he can’t get his telehealth to work (second time he hasn’t gotten it to work in two months!). So me with my hearing impaired ass had to suffer through a 20 minute phone call where he was, I can only assume, on speakerphone deep in a cave somewhere. He switched around my meds, one to a dose I didn’t want to be on and another brand new that he DID NOT go over with me. Really, no explanations, just “lemme try to prescribe this new med for you. It’s called brbrbrbr and if I can’t get the pharmacy to approve it, I’ll call you back,” and that was IT. No more details. No going over interactions or side effects. Then he was rushing, saying he was late for another appointment. So we hang up, I start researching the new med and there’s lots of red flags. I email an alternative idea. No response. I call back the office and am told he’s gone and his medical assistant is gone. So… fuck it. Called today and asked to see a new psych. No problemo. New guy is at least recommended by my therapist, so I’m a bit more hopeful. No one needs to or should read this, but I wanted to vent a little.

angery. grumpery, even.

[mandana-the-service-pup]

Today I had an appointment with Cardiology. I think the Cardiologist is avoiding me bc the whole time I was under his care his attitude was I’m doing these tests bc your anxious not bc I think there’s something wrong with you and There’s nothing more we can do and it’s not going to kill you. You need to learn to live with your heart problems and be ok with that. So he was kind of flabbergasted when I came back after starting methotrexate and my blood pressure & heart rate were completely normal after years of them progressively getting worse to the point of both being in the 190-200s.

So anyways, he’s been pawning me off on his assistants which is fine with me. At multiple appointments I had mentioned how my low blood pressure was one of my most debilitating symptoms. He never wanted to put me on meds for that bc to him my low blood pressure wasn’t a problem. But it is a problem. It affects my vision. It affects my cognition. It makes it dangerous to drive and impossible to think or accomplish tasks. He literally told me to just drink more water and then talk to his assistants. For two weeks I drank so much water and electrolytes that I was vomiting it up into my mouth when I moved. I ate all the salt I could take and used compression wraps. Nothing helped. I had to set alarms to remind me to take caffeine before driving and make sure I was home before it started to wear off. A few times it wasn’t enough and I had to pull over and wait it out.

So today his assistant finally prescribed me Midodrine. Which is so laughable for anyone in the POTS community bc it’s usually one of the first things drs try (after the water & salt trick 🙄) but I’ve been going to the doctors for POTS symptoms since 2009 and have been disabled by those symptoms since 2014 and this is the first time it was ever an option. I understand that for a while my blood pressure was too high to consider taking Midodrine but I haven’t had high blood pressure since the summer of 2023 and it’s almost 2025 now? It’s ridiculous.

Anyways, I’ll let y’all know how it turns out. It’s a short acting medication that I’m supposed to take three times a day. I took my first dose an hour ago and so far my eyes feel better, I can breathe better and my blood pressure is ideal so I’m taking that as a good sign.

[dolyx]

cw hospitalization, medical malpractice

(that does make me wonder how school li's would be as nurses tho.

kylar is def the most questionable. gets scolded a lot by both the head nurse and the doctors, usually bc (1) the patients find them offputting and (2) they do not (always) follow proper health standards (has their hair unkempt most of the time, carries items that can be used as a weapon). jealousy is easy to raise. u just have to share ur room with another patient and u'd get the | + Jealousy stat everytime kylar go in and out of ur room. even more so when they catch u talking to someone else, be it a fellow patient, another nurse, a guest, etc. would def try to isolate u. move u to a more private room, tell ur visitors ur unavailable. if at high enough love/jealousy, would start interfering with your healing process. gives u the wrong drugs, throws away your prescribed drugs, might even make people believe that ur not taking ur meds properly so you get to stay longer. u cant leave them if you dont get discharged.

robin also gets scolded a lot, but less than kylar, and mostly due to their clumsiness and… clumsiness. lack of confidence, maybe? but patients love them. the other nurse and staff love them. they do tend to get a bit closer to the patients than ideal and let it interfere with their work sometimes, but everyone knows it's coming from a good intention. i don't think they'd be very problematic, tho at high love and confidence will take more night shifts bec :) somno. takes a break by sneaking into ur room and napping while cuddling u. robin can just say they're checking up on u/the other patients in the room once they're done anyway. sometimes sexual shit ensues, but they clean u up before anyone else notice.

sydney is the most normal™. kinda. im drawing up a blank for them atm but they'd be the nicest… the kindest… the goodest… and honestly the most decent nurse out of the 4 lol. very normal. acts like a typical nurse. everyone loves them. has ideal patient-nurse relationship with their patients. next in line for the head nurse. but if harper's your doctor, u bet ur ass they will try to sneak u out of the hospital as soon as possible. high corruption, they'll just bust u out. if the hospital isn't managed with someone of particular importance to syd, they'll resign and get you out of here. wherever hospital u go next, they go. if the hospital is managed by jordan/sirris though… they won't resign just yet. they'll try to reason with them first to transfer u to a different hospital/be assigned to a different doctor. if that doesn't work, will sneak you out, but will also stay for a few more days/weeks before handing in their resignation to avoid suspicion.

whitney is most popular for the wrong reasons. at low love, skips frequently. loud as FUCK. u can't really tell if they got in the field purely bc it's their passion or if it's smth pushed onto them. treats u like shit. not enough to, let's say, cause some serious damage. but he will not care abt ur comfort, only cares abt getting u out of here so they'll have less ppl to tend to. at high love, will be "nicer". scolds u out of affection, not out of wanting u to get ur ass out of here. will indirectly tell u to visit them (or share their contact info w u?) if u get discharged. if at high lust will be a little shit. expect a lot of teasing. edges the fuck out of you by his words alone. if ur in a priv room, much worse. but if you ask them nicely, maybe they'll oblige. just maybe.)

[sculien]

okay, another little update on the kitty (i was finally able to get him to the vet)

so the vet finally called me back this morning and after i told her what was going on she goes "oh...okay yeah you need to bring him in now, we have an opening at 10"

so i went and they did an ultra sound and found that the lining of his bladder is insanely thick, which isnt normal, (its supposed to be as thin as your eyelid, but it was the size of like 3/4 fingers) and that he has crystals/stones in his bladder. it could also be a uti, but she's sure the bleeding is from the stones. they might dissolve on their own (male cats cant pass any type of stones) but she wouldnt be able to give me more info without an x ray and more testing

SO after 2 hours of being there and discussing what needs to be done, i went ahead and left him there so they could neuter him, do more xrays/tests and microchip him while he's sedated to make it easier for them

he'll also be prescribed special food for a little while and he'll probably be on some type of anti-anxiety meds bc they think he might have an anxiety issue, which is probably my fault, i wasnt expecting to be homeless and moving up and down the east coast for the last 4 years and i could NOT make myself give him away :/

anyway. i get to pick him up in 2 hours if nothing horrible goes wrong, if the stones are bigger than they think, they might have to go in and remove them, which i hope to whatever entity that thats not the issue bc i can NOT afford 3 thousand dollar surgery 😶

so once again, thank you to everyone who reblogged and donated, you literally saved my cats life. if this would have gone on any longer, it would have caused a blockage (or a number of other horrible things) and would have made things so much more worse, and it wouldve gotten worse quickly

if i ever win the lottery..........ill pay everyone back and maybe buy everyone a new car or something 🙄😂

[morirryan]

uhhh vent?

my tics got so bad today i had to leave school bcs of how painful it was no matter if i ticced or suppressed. they are usually manageable at school but not today i guess

and then my mom doesn't even asks if i'm alright the first thing she asks is why i don't take my meds and well first of all i had no way of knowing they would get so much worse so quick when they've been pretty mild for the past month and i'm only supposed to take the meds for the periods when i tic a lot not all the time)

and second of all i'm saving them for when my exams start (we don't really have such thing as accomodations in my country esp for tic disorders so i'll just have to suck it up), which i tell her and then she proceedes to tell me "well we can just go to your neurologist so she can fill your prescription again" and i wish that was this easy but the situation is am only able to go to a normal neurologist once a year and she actually prescribes me meds that help me at least somewhat and the one my mom refers to is the one i have the worst experiences imaginable with (i can't go to a different one till im an adult eh long story). so uh. yeah i don't even know why i wouldn't want to go to her surely it doesn't make it to the top 10 traumatic events when the last time i had an appointment with her you two acted like i wasn't even in the room, talked over me when _i_ tried to explain what's wrong with _me_, made fun of me and then she didn't even prescribe me that medication. yeah why wouldn't i want to go.

why can't we neurodivergent folk just have a normal experience with doctors don't we have enough on our plates already

at least in four months i'll be able to go to a different neurologist so thats something

this is probably incoherent i can't really uhh formulate sentences rn

[innocencelives]

continuing retrospectives: whats new, and what has always been —infinite reflections on the truth

past few months have been hard, the episode is ongoing bc insurance and doctors have failed at getting me on a new med. a month ago i finally got prescribed a new one and im still trying to figure out how to get my insurance to pay for it, they have arbitrary rules abt what meds to take with other meds.

the episode is…all over the place. the depression is obviously the most excruciating, silent and unknowingly creeping its way through my veins until its all ive known and all i ever will know-until it ends, also silent, also unknowingly. the anxiety: paranoia more like, intense paralyzing social fear that defies all logic and lapses into absurdity but never stretches into psychosis or delusion. never. terrible, painful bodily fear that everything i do is wrong and everyone knows it. im eating nachos wrong, im walking wrong, my hair, my sweater, my face, im moving my hands wrong, there all thinking it, your friends think it, the stranger across the street he thinks it. everytime i ask my friends “wtf are u talking abt we love you your acting the same as always!” (hands shaking as i throw the nachos away bc im spilling all over myself and consider it too hard to continue).

the sleep, oh my god the sleep. i dont think there is a human on earth with a sleep schedule as erratic and random and life-ruining as mine. slept 20 hours a day for 4 days, then i couldnt sleep an hour a day for a few days. slept all day-up all night, slept in two 6 hour shifts, cant fall asleep, cant wake up, cant stay asleep, cant stay awake, cant be remotely normal. the fatigue, and the brain fog is worse than losing a limb. i know i know that sounds mad, its how i feel. the sleep doctor i see every 3 few months for 20 minutes who reccomends me a podcast: “i just dont buy it….i dont buy it”. okay. i mean…gaslighting??? medical gaslighting?? so your telling me, a person with 3rd degree burns, to put a band aid on it shutup and dont be delusional? get in line dude. ive seen worse than you.

and the trauma…oh the trauma. the undercurrent of my broken life till 16 yrs old, then the drowning, all consuming, omnipresent anvil for the next 10 yrs. how, how do you expect me to disentangle the symptoms of life altering complex trauma from the symptoms of various or perhaps a few life altering physical ailments? they both overlap constantly. and both, hilariously, remain undiagnosed.

yep you read that right, the person whos been on meds since 14 yrs old, experienced incestuous rape, unrelenting brain fog and fatigue, foot pain since a child that immobilizes me everyday, various experiences w excruciating stomach pain, low back pain, upper back/neck pain, i was diagnosed w adhd and tic disorder officially, they threw severe sleep apnea and a couple sleep disorders on top recently, what am i missing. oh yea my lazy eye is so terrible i close one eye to see most of the day. a lot of those remain mysteries, or undiagnosed.

my psych tried to put it one way: my mental health symptoms are a little bit of this and a little bit of that, i have bits and pieces of different things. maybe i have complex trauma and a specific rare insane gene disorder, or a few chronic conditions, or a PD and complex trauma, or complex trauma and schizotypal and avpd and lyme disease or complex trauma and fibro and bpd and a piece of my brain missing, who knows man. one things true: (not according to my family) i have complex trauma. and that can have far reaching physical implications.

ive been talking to the psych and my social worker friends abt perhaps flying to the mayo clinic or something similar. a bunch of appointments in a week or two w tons of specialists and tests with an integrated approach to get (as they call it) “the right answer, the first time”. or essentially some diagnosis/es

. . .

a horrible, liberating truth. there is no going back, there is no closing pandoras box. once i knew, i couldnt unknow.

how can i be believed enough to dispell the internalized disbelief,

validated enough to erase the gaslighting,

tell enough people my perverted past to erase the feelings of secrecy,

have enough chosen family to forget every relative,

recieve every ounce of love and care for the infinite time i spent denied of it,

jack off enough times to gross porn until i understand the abuse,

cry enough tears till im empty, empty enough blood till im dry,

fall through enough rocks till i hit the bottom,

when will it ever be enough.

im so tired of it, im so sick of it. im done with it. you can have it back. 16 year old jamie, seduced by the feelings of freedom and truth, put it back, dont read it, dont look too hard, dont think about it too much, do not pull that string it will all unravel i promise you.

im a barren husk of a boy. a shell of who i once thought i was. a paralyzed, broken, catatonic, defective 26 yr old failure who peeked at the man behind the curtain and saw something they could not unsee. i could have never in my wildest fears predicted a life quite as chaotic as this one. it feels like a curse, that i’ll never know a life without a childhood like mine.

its like a poisonous music to my ears, hypnotic and sweet while it tears me apart, hearing just what it truly was. i feel a bit more free, a bit more whole everytime i tell someone. everytime i use the dirty words, incest, sex abuse, sexual violence, molestation blech blech blech gross yuck. nasty. but the disgust, the shock, the genuine look of horror on anyones face as they react to those words is like a hug!-they know. they feel that way to. it was that bad. it did happen. the mere thought of it to a stranger is enough to ruin the vibe. ohhhhhhh if you only knew, if you only knew.

scream it from the roof tops, tattoo it on me, put it right under jamie on my hello my name is sticker, put it in the first sentence of my biography and the first sentence of my obituary. as long as they know my name they will know my truth. my horrible, liberating, truth.

[nishloves]

no bcs I'm so exhausted for no reason—

one of my friends called me and he said that he caught something (idk what) and fr I was like "you caught gonorrhea? oh my, did you take antibiotics?"

no bcs, he ain't even sexually active because he has no hoes and second of all, why the hell would you take anti-biotics for gonorrhea??? (you really should contact a medical professional for it) and it doesn't end here!

"did you get a pediatrician to check you?" WHY WOULD AN 18/19 YEAR OLD BOY GO TO A PEDIATRIC??

he's like, "no- you're wrong-"

I'm like, "dw man, it happens, we are people alright? take your meds for chlamydia." when women are most affected by it!?!? (and antibiotics can be prescribed for chlamydia so that's checks out—)

[3d-wifey]

are you actually autistic?

I don't know how i missed this, but yes. I've been diagnosed with autism for like seven months now, late ass diagnosis. My mental health journey is so fucking wacky.

(WARNING: I'm very open about my experience and what I have)

So, for context, I moved 12 hours away from home for college. I came in as a biology major on the premed track and a theater minor (with absolutely no background in theater, should've been the first sign), made a great friend group where not a single one of them is neurotypical. One of them was diagnosed with autism as a kid an they were convinced that i was also autistic, the thought never occurred to me and i was like "nahhhh". So premed beast my ass and apparently, I was incredibly manic the entire semester basically.

A bad depression hits around october and in november, I made a psychiatry appointment to get a depression screening. I come out that bitch with clinical depression, adhd, generalized anxiety, insomnia, vitamin deficiency, and a mood disorder she believed to be bipolar disorder but didn't feel comfortable saying bc I wasn't manic when i met her???? Any way, she dignosises me, doesn't explain what any of it means, prescribed me wellbutrin for depression and adhd, prenatals for my vitamin deficiencies, and an antipsychotic that i was lead to believe was for my insomnia. Problem is, the wellbutrin handles the depression, but the mania handles it quicker.

Now i'm on stimulants which stimulate the mania, which means when I don't wanna sleep (often) I just didn't take the antipsychotic. If you know anything about mood stabilizers, you know the mood can't be stabilized if you're taking them on and off. When you're bipolar, you'll more than likely love being manic bc you feel great and you can get so much done and it's soooo much better than being depressed so you won't think anything is wrong with you.

A miracle happens and I quite the med track. At this point, I had already dropped the theater minor and picked up creative writing instead and moved from bio to psych as a major. My biggest stressor is now gone and I actually start listening to my friends about taking the anti psychotics regularly. I get put on adderall and then I enter my sophomore year. At the behest of my horrible psychiatrist and therapist who told me she only really know show to handle neurotypical patients (????) and they both tell me I should get an autism assessment. I get one and he basically looks at me and is like "ohhhh yeah, you got that shit."

I randomly get dropped by my therapist, i drop my horrible psychiatrist, and get a therapist that's equipped to handle a patient with autism (thank God). At this point, I'm very weary about claiming anything I don't know for a fact that I have. I get a new Psychiatrist and a second opinion and she's like "yeahhh, you got that shit" (shit being bipolar disorder).

Now it's the end of my sophomore spring semester. That's it.

[nightmarist]

im already feeling a lot better, i hope i can stave off nausea or vertigo long enough for my interview tomorrow.

this week just sucked financially bc we were down to 20 bucks before pay day after paying all the bills. my auntie and a friend gave me 100$ to go to the clinic after ive been feeling extremely dizzy since morning yesterday, unable to walk straight, and with occasional nausea from the vertigo. My best friend drove me and paid for my meds + new batch of testosterone (to which he joked "homies buy homies their hormones")

anyway at the clinic, i checked in, got my vitals, told the nurse I was taking testosterone (not sure if they need to know but i prefer to avoid any adverse mixed drugs when possible). sent me to a room to wait for the doctor.

about 30 minutes later, doctor walked in, looked at me, said "Im sorry I think Im in the wrong room" and loudly proclaimed to the office "Im supposed to see Vladimir but there's a girl here?" and talked about it right in front of me, then she finally turned to me and asked "Are you a friend of Vladimir?" I had to just say "I am Vladimir." which was extremely annoying. She could've just asked me "Are you Vladimir?" instead of make a whole scene in the clinic. Stupid and fucked up.

eventually after questions, she did a test to make sure it wasnt BPPV. I looked it up before and tried the Epley maneuver, but it wasn't very helpful. Regardless, it wasnt BPPV (test was essentially she would swing me back until my shoulders touched the bed and I had to look into the right corner of the room, then do it again and look to the right). She checked my ears after and confirmed I had fluid build up behind my eardrum.

Front desk told me my meds were ordered but when i got to the pharmacy they werent. I had to call the clinic again and tell them to order my meds while I was at my pharmacy. Anyway I did eventually get them.

Dr. prescribed me a nasal spray, an anti vertigo medication, and told me to drink a lot of water to help flush out and thin the mucous build up. Also got to pick up my next batch of T while I was at my pharmacy.

heres to hoping i recover soon. i have a bunch of shit i have to get done and i hate not being able to Do things.

[evilkitten3]

My friend is getting top surgery next month, I'm very glad that he's getting that weight off his chest. Since you've been through it all ready, could I ask for some advice on supporting him through the recovery process?

absolutely.

make sure he has someone/thing to reach the top shelf. he's not gonna be raising his arms above his shoulders for a while

make sure the pharmacy prescribing the pain meds understands that they're for treating the pain from the surgery, not for gender dysphoria. otherwise they simply will not give you pain meds. they may not even tell you that they have not given you pain meds. i recommend against finding this out the exciting way like i did (side note: surprisingly not that bad most of the time)

if it's the same for him as it was for me, he'll be on a 5 pound weight limit for three weeks, and then a 25 pound limit for another three weeks. this is going to affect more than anyone involved will realize. if he's gonna need to move anything heavy any time soon, he should do that before surgery

i had to switch to tylenol instead of ibuprofen a few weeks pre-surgery bc ibuprofen can increase risk of bleeding. if he's an ibuprofen guy, he may want to grab some tylenol just in case

i've heard different people have different experiences with the drains. for some people, that's the worst part. for me, it was pretty simple (although my mom handled most of the measuring). if you aren't going to be involved with keeping them clear/measuring the goop, try to remember to glance down every now and then just in case a cap was screwed on wrong and too much air got in there. probably not gonna be a medical emergency but you wanna keep an eye on them so they'll do their job.

does he have a ride to and from the hospital? this is a very important question bc if the answer is no, the surgery simply will not happen. they just won't do it.

what i got specifically was a double mastectomy with free nipple grafts. if he's getting the same, i cannot stress enough that the nipples will look weird for a while. this is probably nothing to worry about. they're supposed to do that. if he's still worried, he should check in with the surgeon or another qualified expert, but probably they'll just say "it's ok keep an eye on it and if it hasn't healed in [x amount of time] come back then"

he is going to be constantly reminding that all your bits and pieces are connected to one another. even the bits you aren't thinking about. it's gonna be weird.

if he has a dog, offer to walk the dog for him (or help him find someone else who can do it). dogs do not understand the importance of the surgery recovery process. don't let overly enthusiastic dogs happen to you (or in this case your friend)

get a spare binder. not the chest kind, the abdominal kind. you might wanna wash the first one (this will likely be provided by the hospital) and it's better to have two.

speaking of binders, at some point the bandages will come off. the binder will still be required (or, more accurately, highly recommended). this was, for me, Absolute Sensory Hell. i recommend you make sure he's got a few light, loose shirts he can wear under the binder just in case

this didn't end up being relevant to me, but my surgeon recommended my mom buy some puppy training pads in case of accidents (accidents is a word which usually implies pee, but here means bleeding. sometimes there be blood)

if he has cats, he's gonna need to be careful not to let them step on his chest. cats do not like being told where they can or can't step. i hope he has more willpower than i do

quite likely, he's already aware of a good chunk of this. your first step - and possibly only step - is to ask if there's anything he needs from you. if he's got things under control, have faith in him.

brace yourself for how happy he's gonna be once he sees himself topless after the drains come out and the bandages come off. i was pretty much bouncing over my reflection. the euphoria is real.

[queer0fhearts]

When you forget your ex best friends bday & get flooded with photos from her friends we share on all social media.. I guess.. I miss my friends 😞 what is wrong with me? Am I just that terrible? Maybe.. I'm just gonna cry over people leaving me like I usually fucking do... There's honestly nothing else to do besides trying to work on myself... I feel like all I do is back step when I think about these things. My other ex best friend's bday is the 7th... So it just doesn't help. They don't want me anywhere near them.

I wish I could just fix myself... I've overcome a lot of drug & alcohol abuse & no one even knows? Ironically, my family thinks the opposite 😅 I don't even use half of my anxiety & sleep meds I'm prescribed. Just weed that doesn't change but so much. Anyway... I don't know how to find value in my life when I feel like I'm going to lose everyone close to me. I wish I was a better person, a better friend & didn't burden others. I don't know how to get over this... People can try to relate & explain how people dift or change ...no, I was ousted. Out of nowhere ousted in both situations. B, my recent best friend that has been my best friend for over 10 years, just dropped me. Ghosted, then unfriended me.. her fam is still on my page.. talked to her mom but idk maybe it'll just take time since she's dealing with herself.. but she picked her other best friend that hated me. I didn't care? So go ahead, ig... I did do something wrong in that friendship... But again, was good before getting ghosted. How do I love anything about myself when people who are just my friends that seem to relate to me so much, just leaves me? I'd say that's why, but it isn't... I'm just a blob of pain & sad that leeches on others bc I can't help myself.

[chronic-gastro-illness-culture]

I'm unable to go anywhere or do anything because of my stomach/bowel problems, and I feel so alone. doctors and hospitals don't help or know what's wrong, and i don't know what to do. I feel like I'll never get to go anywhere or do anything. (I get symptoms like stomach ache, nausea, acid reflux, diarrhoea, or constipation after I eat anything), so I'm unable to go anywhere where I'd have to eat. (so anywhere longer than a few hours.)

do you or anyone else have any experience in this or any advice?

i have been exactly where u r

i developed gerd in the spring of 2023

i made changes to my diet only to find out i have ibs n food allergies - i cant eat a lot of raw vegetables n fruits n nuts bc im allergic to them but i cant eat processed foods bc of my gerd either

so i have a limited diet n take magnesium capsules everyday bc i cant eat leafy green vegetables

but i definitely lived in fear for months n had a lot of anxiety abt eating n also my proximity to a bathroom. i was taking zofran around the clock n would keep a handful of tums in my pocket in case i started to have reflux

i felt like i wouldnt ever be able to enjoy food or the act of eating again. n so much of hanging out w ppl involves eating. i dont think ppl realize how much culture n socialization revolves around food until ur suddenly hyper vigilant abt what ur eating. also how hard life is when each n every meal brings w it the fear n anxiety of experiencing symptoms.

anyways my doc prescribed me anti anxiety meds n a ppi to get the reflux symptoms under control. n she told me to go to therapy. At first that rlly upset me being told my stomach problems were anxiety related n basically feeling like my doc was telling me its “all in my head” bc i knew it was psychosomatic i knew what i was going thru was real

but i started therapy n my therapist suggested i read a book called the body keeps the score by bessel van der kolk n it changed my perspective on the whole thing.

things like pills diets n exercise can definitely help get things under control- n idk what all u have tried n what all the docs n hospital have given u in terms of tools to work w ur undiagnosed conditions -but understanding the mind-body connection n how ur body holds n manages stress can rlly rlly help when it comes to actually managing chronic illness. bc chronic illness is tied to chronic childhood trauma which is often a pattern thats repeated in adulthood too. doctors can only do so much when it comes to treating the body but they have have no idea how to treat the mind. while i hated my doc telling me take anti anxiety meds n go to therapy initially now im very very thankful she knew that was smth that was behind her scope n so she sent to someone who knew how to give me the help i needed. bc if i hadnt gone to therapy id still be stuck at home locked in a prison of fear.

i go out to eat now. i had movie theater popcorn for the first time in 2 yrs last month. i can eat a greasy fast food cheeseburger. these things i only indulge in once a month bc i dont want my gerd symptoms to come back again but they r things i can do.

n bc ik n understand my own stressors ik how to prepare for things like that to keep my gerd n ibs managed. ik to make sure i only eat a gerd safe diet during times of stress n to avoid the greasy processed foods bc ill be more likely to have reflux then.

recovery rlly is a long journey n the medical field rlly is incompetent when it come to chronic illness. i wish u the best of luck on ur journey n i hope u get some relief soon 🙏

[giratinazero]

I am so uncomfortable in my body right now it's insane

there's two spots on my stomach that look like bug bites but idk how they got there bc they're. right in the center of my stomach. an area that's always DOUBLE covered because I tuck my shirts in so there's two layers of fabric between that area and the outside world. and I have no other bites or similar marks literally anywhere on my body. and my anti-itch cream has not done a goddamn THING over the course of like two days

I've also had, for at least a couple of months now, this weird,,,,,, idek what I'd call it, hives, a rash, whatever. popping up on my face. on both sides of my face. in the exact same spot on each side, and seemingly completely at random. at the start of the week it was on the right side of my face, today it's on the left side of my face. it's completely inconsistent. not related to my period. there's been no changes in my diet or medications. it seems entirely unrelated to my shampoo or conditioner. it happens whether I do or don't wash my face. I've been using the same stuff to wash my face for over a year so it'd be weird as hell for me to suddenly start reacting to it now. and it itches like HELL

and then idk if anyone remembers, but when I hurt my back around my birthday last year. I've been dealing with that pain on and off, actually, bc we figured it's my ~hip flexors~ apparently; my dad had almost the exact same issue awhile ago, so he gave me the same stretches he got from physical therapy, and those have helped clear it up every time it acts up. the problem is it keeps acting up. my hips are visibly out of line, and it feels like the joint is fucking grinding in the socket on my left side. GRINDING. MY BONES

everyone else in my family sees a chiropractor fairly consistently, and a lot of the adults in my life [I say, as if I'm not 25] swear by it. but I hate being touched and I don't believe in chiropractors anyways. "ooooooo come gimme a ton of money so I can TOUCH YOU A LOT and then tell you to come back next week and pay me MORE MONEY so we can do the same thing forever." NO!!!!

I've also never in my entire life had a good experience with doctors. NEVER. the one I'd been seeing my entire life until I was 17 tried to fake test results bc she didn't want to be wrong about my blood sugar condition. the one that gave me anxiety meds for once didn't even entertain me when I tried to say adhd. the dermatologist got snippy when I told her I hadn't kept up my prescribed skincare because I BROKE MY FUCKING WRIST IN A CAR ACCIDENT. I hate doctors I hate doctors I hate doctors. I don't wanna pay them money I dont fuckin have so they can tell me I'm lying, stupid, and getting knocked up would fix my issues. I HATE doctors.

I am fucking miserable sdfghjmk,l.kjhgf

[mirandacaroll]

me: i think i need help?

(100 years pass)

therapy: okay we have a couple of programs you can choose from, what do you need help with

me: yes

therapy: doesnt work like that. what’s wrong with you the most?

me: i guess i was hoping you could tell me that

therapy: okay you’re in adhd group!

me: great, thank you, i think this might actually be working a bit. so sorry to ask though but what about my other things i need help with. is there someone i could just. maybe talk to or

therapy: doesnt work like that. pick another track, it’s up to you!

me: i think i might have autism

therapy: you 100% do not have autism

me: okay.

therapy: were describing you these meds for anxiety and depression, good luck! oh but dont just stop taking them! youll get Bad

me: okay.

therapy: welcome to ACT.

me: thank you. that’s a nice video. i like the basic artwork. still struggling quite a bit though actually, can i maybe talk to that nice psychiatrist lady who prescribed me my meds and knows a lot of my personal stuff?

therapy: oh no one told you? she’s gone

me: okay.

therapy: here’s a stranger to ask answer any further questions

me: that’s okay im actually pretty bad with change so i wont be doing that

therapy: you’ve missed one ACT appointment?????? you’re out.

me: okay. but the uhm, the meds thing? with the withdrawal?

therapy: not our problem anymore. just call your doctor.

me: calling people is actually really hard for me bc im afraid of rejection which is caused by trauma ive learned that in ACT

me: i really cant come back?

therapy: hmmm. maybe. come talk to us in about a month and prove you deserve it

me: okay. but the withdrawal?

therapy: yup

me: i think i need he